I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize