so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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