Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
