Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
