If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
