i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
