why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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