the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
