so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
