Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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