3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
