I think I just saw someone hide a body.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
