next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize