can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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