Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
