I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My life is pants optional.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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