the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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