do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Randomize
