I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
