she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
