i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
