Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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