my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize