i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
