Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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