Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
