Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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