just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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