if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
