You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I bet he comes in French.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
