I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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