Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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