Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize