So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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