So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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