So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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