Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i now understand why vodka
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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