I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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