he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's rum buckets o'clock
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
