piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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