Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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