Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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