he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
