Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
