Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
