4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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