FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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