you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Terrible idea I love it
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
