I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize