check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
