We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
