absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
