I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize