At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
