Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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