we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
