an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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