I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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