my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize