shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Man, jail baloney is awful.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
