He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
