Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Randomize
