White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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