i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
