i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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