Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
