its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize